Memorial Day Weekend

Aye, it is Memorial Day week-end all right!
Don't swing it - sing it!
Sing it to the tune of Duran Duran's old tune, "Election Day"... I say!
"Memo-rial-Day Week-end...!"
Now... Thanks to... moi!

The nonsensical lyrics for Duran Duran's  ELECTION DAY 

(though it is, of course, Duran Duran during its Arcadia phase) 

can be found here - but right now all you'll have 

is the take-off we penned for MEMORIAL DAY:

What kind of day can this be, eyes wide open yeah, can't see nothing no? 
Try to remember baby, the whole library of congress still leaves you helpless 
Hair's greying but we're a-okay, all's well and dandy not hopeless (not hopeless)
Can't help but to remember thee; wars and rumours of war, belting out ammo
My oh my, out of the way, do you know the war is over?
Kinda makes your prez rep downer and downer
Excuse my insolence but hey, why do you even bother, remember the clover?

Heightened hypocrisy and smile on like a fool
Down in the gutter, not feeling okay - all of us gagged to stop any kind of tool 
Take my mask off and beg to still stand on your own two feet  
on Me-Memorial Day!

Can't even begin to deduce, of all the pretend there can be no real intention
Every indication says it's fluff - as sanctity's scarce, there's no denying 
Yikes - ghosts in the closet baby!
Every side you look there is only obfuscation for everybody!

Heightened hypocrisy and smile on like a fool
Down in the gutter, not feeling okay - all of us gagged to stop any kind of tool 
Take my mask off and beg to still stand on your own two feet  
on Me-Memorial Day!

By hook or by crook we will make you say 
Believe in the flag - even when it frags thee 
Starry corpses and bloody stripes - no one think
Sparing no soul just to carry propaganda forth - and so forth!

Why wouldn't we ask for our own demise now 
Enlisting could be my Me-Memorial Day!

Striving to make right and say nay 
To Sam's demands, lay down your body
Go with your acumen, baby
perhaps we have more patriotism than grey matter, heh?

Heightened hypocrisy and smile on like a fool
Down in the gutter, not feeling okay - all of us gagged to stop any kind of tool 
Take my mask off and beg to still stand on your own two feet  
on Me-Memorial Day!

Stretch it now - for two or three days 
Don't let it grow bland - keep guzzling beer, man! 
Listen to politicians as they say 
They remember well - they won't repeat their mistakes!

Memorial Day Weekend!

Memorial Day Weekend!

Memorial Day Weekend!

But we were not meant to encourage lame-o performances not even worthy of Karaoke Night At The Corner Pub, here, today... Noooooo...!

Actually, when we set out to update this most laudable blog of all, we were indeed going to focus on the Memorial part of it - try and distinguish it from its Remembrance cousin - and praise the initiative, as we always do, but then take a step back and say something like "but... hehhhh... it still needs work!"

Without further ado, hence, let's do just that!!!

We shall do it with the unwitting assistance (but they are always up for the free publicity it gives them) of our buddies over at SHS.COM - so, guys? You don't have to thank me for this, you know...

Who better to embody the sheer oomph of Memorial Day other than... Kanyon?
Excuse the obscure wrestling reference... Other things on my mind here...
Whoo (Whooooo? Wooooo? Who) better, then, than... Captain America!

Cappo never looked so tough - 

he really hasn't, in years...! 

Packing some ammo, 

backed up by G.I. Joe's grandpas there, 

HE IS AMERICANA! 

'Nuff Said...

Captain America - perhaps the single most patriotic of ALL super-heroes (along with the Americommando, U.S.Agent, General Glory, Major Victory, Corporal Kirchner, Sargent Slaughter, Rex, Stars And S.T.R.I.P.E.S.,  Guardian, Miss America, Lady Liberty, Silent Majority, Mayflower, Sparkler, Bucky, John Wayne, All-American Winner and, of course, the Ugly American!)

Captain America - once the lone most effective propaganda tool to ever be devised! For nothing - absolutely nothing - can ever hope to be as persuasive than cheap comic-bookie fare when comes time to shape the public's mind on something and mobilize all the sheep for WAR!  Hey - it worked in 1941; why not now, heh? Some U.S. bonds with that? 

Why the unluckiest and unlikeliest of numbers for the rebate percentage that is offered there, though, bros? I am damn sure Cappo would have been more generous than that - even if he is no Uncle Sam or anything close to Santa Claus either...! But we are digressing now...  

13% off it is - no further need to discuss it - it is better than 0% off any single day of the week, at any other time of the year! 

Memorial Day is all about the American troops - as Wikipedia describes it so well (and, no, we are not a subsidiary of it nor do we receive any money from Wikipedia for this!) Memorial Day is a federal holiday observed annually in the United States on the last Monday of May. Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it originated after the American Civil War to commemorate the Union soldiers who died in the Civil War. By the 20th century Memorial Day had been extended to honor all Americans who have died in all wars. It typically marks the start of the summer vacation season, while Labor Day marks its end. One more reason to hate Labor Day, I say. So it's once again Memorial Day - and what have you done? Who cares. It is what it is. Whereas Remembrance Day is specifically about, how shall we put it, true veterans - those who were around for World War I aka The Great War (they called it as such, at first, because they naively thought there would never be any other conflict that could ever top it - ever.  As those who know much about history know, they would be proven wrong a mere couple of decades later...) Again, Wikipedia summarizes it all well: Remembrance Day (also known as Poppy Day or Armistice Day) is a memorial day observed in Commonwealth countries since the end of World War I to remember the members of their armed forces who have died in the line of duty. This day, or alternative dates, are also recognized as special days for war remembrances in many non-Commonwealth countries. Remembrance Day is observed on 11 November to recall the official end of World War I on that date in 1918; hostilities formally ended "at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month" of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice ("at the 11th hour" refers to the passing of the 11th hour, or 11:00 a.m.)  The day was specifically dedicated by King George V on 7 November 1919 as a day of remembrance for members of the armed forces who were killed during World War I. This was possibly done upon the suggestion of Edward George Honey to Wellesley Tudor Pole, who established two ceremonial periods of remembrance based on events in 1917.

And speaking of King George...

One more thing to be memorized this year or merely reminisced about at this time: it is another marquee anniversary this week as thirty-five years ago almost to the day we all saw the release of the one major science-fiction flick of all-time: Star Wars!!! 

Happy Birthday, Star Wars! Wow - I still remember when Artoo (or should I say, er, type R2-D2 as it should be?) was nothing but a novelty piece of hardware...! Or a walking-not-quite-talking (more like beeping) trash can...? Whatever description fits the most here...!

Boy, this ages us all, Star Warriors - and this ages George even more! (You know which one I am talking about now - don'tcha?!?)

But let's not mind that at all right now... 

Let's all replay that awesomer-than-merely-awesome Star Wars Disco Theme in joyous (and rebellious!?) celebration instead! Woooooooo! (Not Woot and not Wookie, sorry - this being just another repeat of that same onomatopeia-like obfuscation referencing wrestling again - sorry, I can't stop doing it! So very sorry - honestly! I am trying to quit, you know... But let's just move on now...)

All this war talk... dawn of the summer season talk... wrestling talk... Duran Duran talk... comics talk... politicians talk... And, now, disco talk... 

Arrgh! 

It's all mixing up and remixing in me head here, see, and what comes out the other way is THIS - unfortunately: 

What a headache that Golden Age costume always was 

- just ask Alex Ross about THAT -

and now we know the WHY of it...! 

It was gay fashion sense all along: 

Green Lantern Alan Scott was not only a member 

of the Justice Society of America - 

he was also an honorary member of 

the Sewing Circle...

Captain America and Green Lantern could have been battling Nazis together, say, in the summer of 1941 - now, with the changes planned by a certain Didiot, they could have been exchanging other things instead, say, in a revisionist's version of those tales... Because the powers-that-be at that company called a DC (...) decided that it was time to show the world how open-minded they all are: so they must have a "prominently gay hero" out there, er, flying around...

Rumours are that it will be the original Green Lantern, pictured above and resurrected from the dead (either that or mothballs) just for the occasion...  Hmm... If memory serves me right, Martin Nodell and Bill Finger never meant for their heroic figure to inspire anything other than the troops: but, in 2012 and beyond, DC intends it to inspire nothing less than gay pride. Various factors make him a surefire candidate for this job and they include rejuvenation/eternal youth, Adonis-looks, wood and a flame about this high. Don't ask for details now... 

They do say that there is something undeniably gay about super-heroes overall: that tights like those that most of them wear, metrosexual nature of many of them and four-colour fashion (or lack of) sense prevalent for the majority of the characters in this genre makes them all suspects of being either gay or lesbian fools living out and fleshing out a homo-erotic fantasy... Suspected of this over the years have been a number of compelling characters, including Power Girl, The Huntress, Fire & Ice, Batwoman, Black Orchid, Silver Scarab, Obsidian, Rawhide Kid, Two-Gun Kid (maybe that one was bi?) and several others. Marvel went ahead and officially declared a certain Northstar gay, followed by Rawhide Kid (despite the protests of Clint Eastwood). The moment DC announced that there would be "an iconic character going gay" on their turf (the term iconic being very loosely used, yet again - but that is another story) all the old jokes about Batman being one of those resurfaced again, along with the lesbian Wonder Woman theory (hey, she is an Amazon - what else could or should she be?!?) and queer Hawkman, Elongated Man, Plastic Man, Hitman and X-Men as well...! But wait: the ex's are Marvel property and, besides, they already have their resident gay character there... It just had to be the (practically lone) Canadian on their roster, or rather in their X-tended family, too! (No - NOT Wolverine, do not worry!!!) So... Blame Canada...?

But I seriously cannot believe these comic-book dweebs! They'd rather spread the gay gene all over comic-bookies everywhere and then they turn around and ban topless bodypainted SuperHeroines?!? It makes no sense!!! One can influence towards a lifestyle of pariah depths and woes, while the other does not even titillate on the spot (or afterwards) one iota...! Devoid of any sort of consistency like that, you cannot hope to be taken seriously - do you realize that? What is it with you dweebs now...? Of course, what it is is that they are desperate to keep their very sub-business alive and thriving (no throbbing jokes now - please) and will go to any lengths to gather the sympathy, support and eventually devoted (they hope) following for this sort of effort, reaching out to the "untapped potential clientele" out there, fulfilling the need, for there is purported to be a "demand" for this, and so here is the offer... And almost every other gang in this fictitious business is following suit now. (Blame it on Canada indeed: that shot-in-Toronto-and/or-Vancouver TV show, Queer As Folk, which used to be broadcast over and over again on prominent cable network Showcase, featured one of its gays as the owner of a comic-book store! You couldn't tune into Showcase for years, during prime-time or, with greater reason, later on at night, and not be bombarded with commercials for this crap - and that female off-screen voice repeating ad nauseam that this was to be viewed ''only on Showcase!'' Showcase, like Showtime, was available to American viewers, too... And this, more than anything, probably influenced the dweebs at DC and MARVEL to further this trend and tap into this potential customer-base that is just waiting there, with plenty of money to spend, apparently - and this, in turn, made the dweebs that make up the powers-that-be at DC and MARVEL finally realize that spandex tights on a largely male assembly does look terribly gay!!! But we're getting side-tracked very badly now...)

Hopefully none of this puts any kind of damper on the Star Wars birthday bash; and, hopefully, it will not inspire anyone, either at LucasFilm or in the fan fic crowd, to (further) investigate the sexual orientations of any denizens of Tatooine, the Death Star or Endor...! 

For no one will ever want to see a gay Wookie, gay Ewok, gay Emperor, gay Jabba, gay Jar-Jar Binks, gay Sand People, gay Jawa, gay Sith, gay Storm Troopers - or, Heaven Forbid, a gay Jedi...!

Let the only gay character on Star Wars remain C3PO...!  Please.